What does this time of year mean to you? It is so different for us all, and yet some themes feel like they are there for a lot of us. Are we feeling pressure – pressure to be something, be somewhere, present ourselves in a certain way? The pressure to make everything “Perfect” and be happy can become overwhelming.
I guess what I am talking about is the weight of expectations – “But we need you to... we always do …. why won’t you drink, you’re no fun anymore!” Expectations and demands that others place on us, sometimes completely innocently, other times less so, but that leave us feeling like we are on some kind of hamster wheel we can’t run fast enough on.
For me, Christmas is complicated. It holds memories of the magic of being a child and fabulous times with Grandparents who made it special, and are now deeply missed. It also holds challenges of being around people that I spend the rest of the year escaping. A time where I know I am going to be made to feel “less than” and I will feel unable to challenge it, because that would “spoil Christmas.”
I’m chiming in now (G calling!) I got a lot of my “drama” out the way last weekend (and survived pretty well – with ‘guilting’ I chose not to take on and carry (weigh me down). It’s the most wonderful time of the year...don’t ya know!
Christmas for me, well, I’ll admit is a bit of a “front” really – because of the “should’s” and how they do not fit with how I actually feel. You “should” be happy; you “should” be the life and soul...you “shouldn’t” be sad - “Come on! Cheer up!”
So, how do we do this time of year? Again, I can only speak for myself (back to C now!), and trust me, I really don’t have this one figured out! I try and factor in mini breaks – dog walking is a saviour! I take longer showers, and build in pieces of the day where I can take myself away for a few minutes, take a few breaths, look at some calming pictures on my phone, reset and then go back in feeling a bit more able to cope.
As we may well know by now, I – G (keep up!) am VERY keen to look after my inner child at this ‘most wonderful time’...’she’ gave me a very big “nudge” when I walked past a bookshop this morning – so she now has the Christmas present she wanted (check out our Instagram tomorrow if you would like to see it!)
The other thing I (C) do, is promise myself new year. Now that sounds grand, but is usually anything but! I am often in bed by 9! But the point is, it is my day, I don’t have anyone’s expectations or demands. So, if I want to stay up I can, if I want to go to bed early, I can. I also, generally don’t plan it, I see what I want nearer the time, because – I can!
And I (G) CAN’T STAND new year either (double whammy!) but I think I’m going to go the other way, I’m going to decide what my plan is in advance...but one thing that’s for certain, there will be no crowds and no expectations about the year ahead. End!
So, whatever this next week or 2 holds for you, our message is simple. Take moments where you can. Be kind to yourself, breathe, and give yourself a day or more on the other side that you do what you want for you (one thing I, G, do love though? TWIXMAS!!! ‘cause it is the no man’s land between the two stressy times!) Winner!
We look forward to sharing more with you in the new year, we are really excited to be planning the “Inner World Retreat” which is promising to be a really good weekend to get in touch with and care for yourself. Take a look at the Retreat page as Early Bird Sale is running until the end of January.
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